A LIZARD TALE 2-27-07
This may be one of those "had to be there" stories, but the experience had us in tears and perhaps you'll get a little chuckle from it as well.
Had I pressed the button to roll up the power windows when I realized that the little twig hanging down from the roof of the car into the open window was a lizard tail, we wouldn't have this lizard tale. Instead we'd have one more little lizard with a sore bum growing a new tail…but how would you feel if someone pinched off a piece of your rear end? Exactly! That's why I didn't push the button. I figured that the wind would blow the little gal off the roof and she'd on her merry way. If she got squished in traffic it wouldn't be our fault…and she'd be intact for her viewing at her little lizard funeral, a little flatter perhaps, but not mutilated.
I reported our lizard on the roof to MJ who sat beside me in the passenger seat, and she had barely gotten the, "Well as long as she stays on the…" out before the little bugger had done a lizard back handspring with a twist onto the dash! That move was certainly a "10" and we both exclaimed and jumped in our seats with great, uh, uhm, appreciation for Lizzie's agility and technique. Her performance was riveting! In fact, MJ had to remind me to keep my eyes on the road, since I was apparently swerving a bit as I admired Lizzie's routine on the dash. In addition to her athletic prowess, Lizzie demonstrated immense skill in costume design and proved to be a quick-change artist as well. Her costumes changed from brown to various shades of green right before our very eyes! Not once did she retreat behind a curtain!
I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but Lizzie apparently resented my lack of full attention. She flounced over to a spot on the dash that was right between my eyes, and dared me not to engage. There was no way for me to avoid direct eye contact with her. "You better not jump on…" I started to say when in abject defiance, and blatant disregard for my efforts to keep the vehicle on the road, she leapt onto the steering wheel for a nanosecond before doing a back somersault with two twists, this time, onto the dash. It was another impressive maneuver drawing rave reviews and appropriate responses of awe from MJ and I.
By that segment of the tale, MJ and I were caught up in a gale of giggles and guffaws, nervous laughter that probably didn't mask our trepidation from Lizzie for a single second! "You had better pull into the gas station before we crash," MJ choked out amidst her laughter. "Ok, I'll pull over in a sec," I responded, one eye on Lizzie, the other on the light I was trying to make at the corner of Iona and McGregor. Lizzie kept both eyes on us, casting distrustful glances at MJ and I. Left, then right, right then left, her little head swiveled, as though trying to decide which of us appreciated her less.
Now, as much fun as we were having with Lizzie, she really didn't seem too happy, so we were brainstorming ways to free her from her obvious distress. Sure, we'd miss her terribly, but Lizzie's well being was far more important than our entertainment. In a moment of, uh, brilliance and bravery, MJ had come up with the idea to entice Lizzie onto the current issue of Golf Magazine so that she could take part in Jack Nicklaus's world-renowned wisdom. After all, who could resist Jack's wisdom? But Lizzie had remained impervious to Jack's comments and continued to skip and spin, prance and pirouette to and fro across the dash. She seemed quite reluctant to abandon her current venue.
However, as we pulled into the Kmart Plaza parking lot, perhaps the dashboard stage became too confining…or maybe the new stage MJ had been offering her became more palatable, because Lizzie suddenly flew onto the magazine tentatively grasped by the very tips of MJ's long, tapered, and manicured fingers…but she didn't remain on that stage very long.
Although Lizzie didn't confirm this, I suspect that MJ's sudden backward movement, her exclamation, and the airborne magazine startled her a bit, maybe even caused her to lose her balance momentarily, because she leapt onto MJ's lap for a micro-moment, spring-boarded onto my right leg, sprinted across my lap, onto the driver door and back onto the dash...all within less time than it took to say "Holy leaping lizards Batgirl!" Actually, that's not exactly what was said, but my momma might read this.
In any event, I stopped the car with extreme efficiency, and we opened the car doors. We were hoping that Lizzie had heard the adage about "all the world being a stage," and that she'd prefer "all the world," to our little Chevy Lumina. It didn't take long at all for Lizzie to bid us "Adieu." As we remorsefully waved goodbye to Lizzie, MJ said, "What did I do with that magazine?" We began to look around inside the car. "Maybe you threw it out the window," I responded. "Did I throw it out the window," she asked incredulously, both of us now frantically searching under the front seat, and moving things around in the back seat.
I looked back along the path we had driven, and there were Jack's thoughts fluttering in the morning breeze, on the parking lot asphalt. "I did throw it out the window," MJ said in wonder, trying to recapture the scene in her mind. Our laughter cascaded now in earnest and she hurried off to recover the magazine. Laughing tears glinted in the brilliant sunshine as we held onto each other, both bent at the waist. On that glorious morning, on the first day of our 4th anniversary weekend, it didn't take much to entertain us: just a frightened stowaway lizard and our responses to it. We hope to find ourselves laughing that way on our 40th anniversary and we hope you'll share that with us as well.
Had I pressed the button to roll up the power windows when I realized that the little twig hanging down from the roof of the car into the open window was a lizard tail, we wouldn't have this lizard tale. Instead we'd have one more little lizard with a sore bum growing a new tail…but how would you feel if someone pinched off a piece of your rear end? Exactly! That's why I didn't push the button. I figured that the wind would blow the little gal off the roof and she'd on her merry way. If she got squished in traffic it wouldn't be our fault…and she'd be intact for her viewing at her little lizard funeral, a little flatter perhaps, but not mutilated.
I reported our lizard on the roof to MJ who sat beside me in the passenger seat, and she had barely gotten the, "Well as long as she stays on the…" out before the little bugger had done a lizard back handspring with a twist onto the dash! That move was certainly a "10" and we both exclaimed and jumped in our seats with great, uh, uhm, appreciation for Lizzie's agility and technique. Her performance was riveting! In fact, MJ had to remind me to keep my eyes on the road, since I was apparently swerving a bit as I admired Lizzie's routine on the dash. In addition to her athletic prowess, Lizzie demonstrated immense skill in costume design and proved to be a quick-change artist as well. Her costumes changed from brown to various shades of green right before our very eyes! Not once did she retreat behind a curtain!
I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but Lizzie apparently resented my lack of full attention. She flounced over to a spot on the dash that was right between my eyes, and dared me not to engage. There was no way for me to avoid direct eye contact with her. "You better not jump on…" I started to say when in abject defiance, and blatant disregard for my efforts to keep the vehicle on the road, she leapt onto the steering wheel for a nanosecond before doing a back somersault with two twists, this time, onto the dash. It was another impressive maneuver drawing rave reviews and appropriate responses of awe from MJ and I.
By that segment of the tale, MJ and I were caught up in a gale of giggles and guffaws, nervous laughter that probably didn't mask our trepidation from Lizzie for a single second! "You had better pull into the gas station before we crash," MJ choked out amidst her laughter. "Ok, I'll pull over in a sec," I responded, one eye on Lizzie, the other on the light I was trying to make at the corner of Iona and McGregor. Lizzie kept both eyes on us, casting distrustful glances at MJ and I. Left, then right, right then left, her little head swiveled, as though trying to decide which of us appreciated her less.
Now, as much fun as we were having with Lizzie, she really didn't seem too happy, so we were brainstorming ways to free her from her obvious distress. Sure, we'd miss her terribly, but Lizzie's well being was far more important than our entertainment. In a moment of, uh, brilliance and bravery, MJ had come up with the idea to entice Lizzie onto the current issue of Golf Magazine so that she could take part in Jack Nicklaus's world-renowned wisdom. After all, who could resist Jack's wisdom? But Lizzie had remained impervious to Jack's comments and continued to skip and spin, prance and pirouette to and fro across the dash. She seemed quite reluctant to abandon her current venue.
However, as we pulled into the Kmart Plaza parking lot, perhaps the dashboard stage became too confining…or maybe the new stage MJ had been offering her became more palatable, because Lizzie suddenly flew onto the magazine tentatively grasped by the very tips of MJ's long, tapered, and manicured fingers…but she didn't remain on that stage very long.
Although Lizzie didn't confirm this, I suspect that MJ's sudden backward movement, her exclamation, and the airborne magazine startled her a bit, maybe even caused her to lose her balance momentarily, because she leapt onto MJ's lap for a micro-moment, spring-boarded onto my right leg, sprinted across my lap, onto the driver door and back onto the dash...all within less time than it took to say "Holy leaping lizards Batgirl!" Actually, that's not exactly what was said, but my momma might read this.
In any event, I stopped the car with extreme efficiency, and we opened the car doors. We were hoping that Lizzie had heard the adage about "all the world being a stage," and that she'd prefer "all the world," to our little Chevy Lumina. It didn't take long at all for Lizzie to bid us "Adieu." As we remorsefully waved goodbye to Lizzie, MJ said, "What did I do with that magazine?" We began to look around inside the car. "Maybe you threw it out the window," I responded. "Did I throw it out the window," she asked incredulously, both of us now frantically searching under the front seat, and moving things around in the back seat.
I looked back along the path we had driven, and there were Jack's thoughts fluttering in the morning breeze, on the parking lot asphalt. "I did throw it out the window," MJ said in wonder, trying to recapture the scene in her mind. Our laughter cascaded now in earnest and she hurried off to recover the magazine. Laughing tears glinted in the brilliant sunshine as we held onto each other, both bent at the waist. On that glorious morning, on the first day of our 4th anniversary weekend, it didn't take much to entertain us: just a frightened stowaway lizard and our responses to it. We hope to find ourselves laughing that way on our 40th anniversary and we hope you'll share that with us as well.
2007-03-05 02:20:45 GMT
